The large crowd who witnessed the first half of the Margate v BayCity match had much to talk about at half time.

They had seen some great play: sweeping passes, thumping fully committed tackles and fast walking that would have graced any match. Chuck in, let’s be honest, a few rather dodgy refereeing decisions and it was truly a rich tapestry.

They had seen six goals of highly varying quality shared between the two sides.

The match was poised on a knife edge. 

They had witnessed the visitors going ahead not once…. not twice … but three times. Only to be pulled back each time.

They had seen a quality goal from favourite Kevin Joyce. A shot that sizzled only inches above the turf before nestling into the bottom corner of the Margate goal.

This had started a debate about whether this effort matched his “Goal of the Century” scored earlier in the season. The general consensus was no it didn’t.

More than this, much more, they had witnessed outrageous controversy that shocked them to their very core!

Margate’s third goal was a headed goal that surely should have been disallowed.

Yes …a headed goal? What next indeed….

If a walker can now score with his head, would every team now play long ball tactics and employ Crouch-like giants to play centre forward?

How long before some enterprising player juggled the ball with his left buttock before dispatching it goal-wards with a flick of his unmentionables? This way lay madness.

Clearly the rule book had been torn up and scattered to the Thanet winds. This was anarchy. There were no certainties any more. Maybe beer should be lukewarm and flat, maybe EastEnders is not shit and maybe Kim Yong-un should host “Britain’s Got Talent”. Who knows anymore?

As it was the second half was a totally one sided affair.

The BayCity Strollers simply rolled over their opponents. 5 goals (including a second half hat trick from striker Le Corney) were more than enough to achieve victory.

The moment for chaos passed. The crowd drifted away to their beds and England survived another day.

Lawrence Hall-Daniels